False Stereotypes and Generalizations

In a moment of transparency, I must admit that there are few things in this world that frighten and intimidate me more than adolescent girls. They are wonderfully complex, mysterious, rich in depth, and confusing human beings. I obviously experienced adolescence as a boy, so when I found myself reading a book titled “Teenage Girls,” I was enlightened and challenged. One thing that really stuck out to me in this book was the dangers of false stereotypes and generalizations.

A somewhat what uncomfortable side effect of reading this book is that it revealed my subliminal practice of applying these false stereotypes and generalizations to the adolescent girls in my youth ministry. This confronted me in the first few pages when the author shared the story of Karla and Elise. Elise had formed a stereotypical opinion of Karla, the flirty, attractive 15 year-old, and was subsequently blown away by her depth of spiritual maturity and connection. The author then describes female adolescence as,

“…a season of setting aside her childhood props and grieving that loss, while at the same time eagerly rejoicing as she becomes an adult. This isn’t a one-day decision; it’s a process that takes place over her adolescent years, as she constantly tries on new personalities and casts off others.”  

I realized that, like Elise, I had a tendency to typecast a teenage girl based purely on outward appearances and personality without realizing or recognizing that their personalities and identities are in a constant state of flux. It reminds of the movie Thirteen in which a teenage girl enters adolescents as a stuffed-animal loving good-little-girl and transforms into a promiscuous, substance abusing, broken mess. It can happen so fast.

Adolescent girls as are in search of the answer to the question, “Who am I?” By forcing stereotypes and generalizations on her we can inadvertently play a role in pushing her to abandon her search in favor of a “label.” If we treat a popular girl like she is disinterested in “real spiritual growth” she may decide to live up (or down) to our expectation. Sometimes, if not oftentimes, labels become too overwhelming to fight so adolescent girls will give up and accept them.

As a youth leaders we need to work at all times to avoid stereotyping and generalizing the girls in our ministry. Teenage girls are so much more than just the sum of things they do and say. These things are temporary and are constantly shifting. When looking for and training teenage girls as spiritual leaders, these constant shifts can be frustrating because one week a teenage girl might be passionate about Christ and ministry, and the next it can appear that her only passion is that “hot” teenage guy that is visiting this week. Instead of writing her off, we need to pair her with a solid female leader who understands the issues she is facing and will try to help her find her identity in Christ, not just in the temporal approval of the opposite sex. Teenage girls are constantly being judged by what they wear, who their friends are, what they look like, etc. and the church needs to be the one place where they are understood and accepted for whoever they may be that week.