Well, I’m on day two of my recovery and though hernias have me down 3-0, I’m looking good for a rousing comeback. This week (and last week for that matter) have featured a lot of sitting on a couch or bed waiting for the pain to go away. Although I’m in a lot of pain and a little stressed about the recovery and costs of the surgery, I am so thankful to know that there is one thing I’m not at all stressed about: what will happen to the ministries I lead while I am gone.
Five years ago I had a very similar procedure done and this stress was very much present while I was going through the recovery process. You see, five years ago I had no idea how to make myself replaceable. Heck, five years ago I probably would have been offended by the concept. I, like many young ministry leaders, had control issues. If there is one thing I hope you can learn from my mistakes in ministry is that delegation, support for leaders, and empowering leaders is every bit as important as mentoring and hanging with students.
Student ministry requires a team. It’s kind of like the whole “it takes a village” approach. This team must include parents, volunteers, the senior pastor, and yes, the youth leader. In a moment of complete transparency (perhaps its the narcotics) I want to share with you a few of my reasons for holding on so tightly to my youth ministry.
- Fear of failure
In the early days of my understaffed, under-resourced ministry, I was constantly feeling like I had to hold everything together to keep everything from falling apart. I felt that failure was lurking just around the corner. At the time I was working day and night to keep 15 or so students interested in what I was doing. That was exactly the problem. It was about what I WAS DOING. I was the central figure. Christ doesn’t fail. I do. What I had to learn was that placing Christ at the center is how to conquer my fear of failure
- I had trust issues
I loved the volunteers that I had involved in ministry. I trusted them 100%…completely. My trust issues weren’t with them, they were with me. I didn’t trust myself to empower leaders. Empowering a leader required me to have my planning and homework done. As I mentioned earlier, I was working around the clock trying to do and be everything which meant my advance planning was non-existent. Now I have learned to delegate and get ahead of the game plan. Coming into this school year we had laid out what we were doing and covering at every service for the entire programming year. That meant when an unexpected surgery came up there was no mystery, no scrambling. My leaders were empowered to take over for me because they knew long in advance what the plan was.
- I was afraid to let go of being “the guy”
I have never met a leader who didn’t enjoy being the hero every once in a while. Ministry can, at times, be a thankless job and when other people start getting the credit it can be hard on even the most humble leader; however, this is something that must be dealt with. Sharing the spotlight is not even the goal here. Surrendering the spotlight to our true Hero is the goal. When the Church works together Christ is glorified. The funny thing is, I have never felt more appreciated, loved, and respected as I do today. We have a growing staff (as a result of our multi-church ministry) and a large volunteer team for a ministry our size. I am not critical anymore to the success of a weekly service. This is an amazing and wonderful feeling. Sure, being in a true ministry team environment requires the sharing of the credit, but it keeps the glory right where it belongs…on our amazing, heroic Savior. Plus, sharing the burden and load is a heck of an upside.
- I was afraid of not being the “coolest”
I have written about my “Michael Scott” complex. I like to be liked, and I remember being afraid of students liking other leaders more than me. There is some reality to this fear. As we grew and developed some amazing leaders, students gravitated toward different leaders. That meant that I was not and am not always the “coolest” guy in our ministry. How awesome is that! That means that students are connecting. It takes a lot of pressure off me to try and be “cool” all that time. The more leaders we have the more I am free to be myself. The whole “all things to all people” thing is a myth and a rather exhausting myth at that.
Conclusion
Hopefully my thoughts have been helpful in showing you that if you struggle with these thoughts, you are not alone. Don’t feel guilty. Growing as a ministry comes with growing pains. These are good. They prepare us for who God wants us to be as leaders. Don’t give up. Keep recruiting, training, and empowering. Allow your leaders to make mistakes and don’t fear failure. If it is Christ’s ministry then you will succeed.
