Mixed Messages

Well, McDonald’s, you just lost four potential weekly customers. Your mixed message has driven us away. You hooked us with your “coffee house” appeal, but failed to deliver “coffee house hospitality.” I am quite disappointed.

As I have mentioned several times on this blog, every Sunday I go out to lunch with three teenage guys that I am mentoring. We always pick a place that serves lunch so that we can eat while we talk. Our meetings take about 60-90 minutes. I realize that this is a long time to “loiter” so we try to pick places that are designed for this type of meeting space. “Coffee houses” that serve food are our preferred destination. We have been frequenting McDonald’s of late because of their changeover to the McCafe style of restaurant. I figured that since they boast free WiFi and an obvious coffee house environment this was a good choice. They get the repeat business of hungry teenage boys and we get a meeting place. I also chose this location because it is nearly empty every Sunday afternoon. All this changed this past Sunday.

Since we started meeting there a sign has gone up. The picture at the top of this post is of this new sign. It reads: “No loitering please. Time Limit: 30 minutes.” Doesn’t this just scream hospitality? Here’s my beef (sorry for the pun): don’t market yourself as a coffee house if you don’t want people to act like it’s a coffee house.

coffee house or not???

Take a look at the picture to the right. McDonald’s is obviously trying to capitalize on a customer’s expectations of a coffee house. Mood lighting, hard-wood floors, and artsy and inviting seating abound. They are doing everything they can to look like a StarBucks. Now, I’m going to guess that the people who came up with this concept have visited a coffee house in their time and are aware of the fact that people go to coffee houses to spend time, not just order coffee. They chose to replicate this feel, yet they are sending a mixed message. “We are a coffee house, but don’t treat us like a coffee house.”

Now, no one on staff at McDonalds said anything to us while we were meeting, but I have decided to no longer bring my students there. If they don’t want us, we don’t want them. This really got me thinking. Are we guilty of doing the same thing as a church, as a youth ministry? Are we sending mixed messages?

Let’s be honest, we market ourselves as a friendly, loving community. Many churches, mine included, even have a coffee house in our building. Yet, we all know that there are sins that are “ok” to put out there and sins that must remain hidden. I recently watched the movie, “To Save a Life” with my students. In one scene, the senior pastor calls the youth pastor into his office and informs him that he is not comfortable with a pregnant teen and her boyfriend being around the youth group. My reaction was where on earth do we want these students if not with the church?

Many churches are guilty of practicing this philosophy, if not with their words, with their actions. Look around the room this Sunday and you will see evidence of sin. Gluttony, hypocrisy, and other sins are obvious. We are “ok” with these sins in the sense that people who are living in them feel comfortable walking into our churches. I am 25 pounds overweight. I regularly over-eat. I feel totally accepted at my church. However, there are other sins deemed “unworthy”. Do drunkards, homosexuals, and teenage mothers feel welcome in your church? What about someone who had an affair or raped someone in their past? How about the divorced or the drug addicts?

My point is not to say that all sin should be accepted. I believe firmly in moral absolutes. My question is simply, are your ministries a place for those struggling with sin or those who have overcome it? One of my friends, Keith, pointed out last week that Jesus is referred to hanging out with sinners and tax collectors in the present tense. They were not “reformed” they were sinners. Now, Jesus never hid the truth, but He spoke it in such love that practicing sinners still felt comfortable in His presence. Are we all that welcoming to “sinners”? How can we not be? We are all sinners (present tense). If we decided to clean out the “sinners” from our churches, well, there wouldn’t be anyone left.

As a ministry leader my hope is to send clear messages of truth. I don’t want to say one thing but clearly market another. Just as I will not return to the false “McCafe” with my mentor group, there are many teenagers who will not return to church because of the mixed message they see. Let us be better than that. Let us live like Christ, speaking and living the truth of Christ’s love.