The Eavesdropper

Just about every Sunday afternoon following our Sunday morning service I go out to lunch with a group of 2-3 high school guys that I am mentoring. This is often the highlight of my ministry week. I absolutely love it. We spend anywhere from 2-3 hours talking about life, what we’re wrestling with, and what God is revealing to us. We usually use a book that we are all reading as the jump-starter to our conversations. The book we are finishing up right now is Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna. Our last book was Radical by David Platt. We love to wrestle with difficult subjects.

This week ended up being a bit different. One of our clan was missing and we had one of my former students back on college break so we decided to veer away from our typical book discussions. I am currently taking a class in my grad program called Issues in Adolescent Development and I had just finished reading a book on the issues that adolescent girls face. So, somewhat tongue-in-cheek I told the guys that I was now an expert on all things teenage girls and this was the time to get the answers they have always longed for (sarcasm of course dripping out of my mouth). However, I was being a little serious in that I had learned some valuable information that I knew a high school boy with a long-term girlfriend would appreciate. Appreciate it they did.

We had a fascinating conversation about ways that they could better support and understand the opposite sex. We talked about the incredible pressures that teenage girls face, and the aggression and uncertainty that they face everyday from their female peers. They asked questions about different situations they had experienced, wondering why their girlfriends or simply “female friends” had reacted in a certain way. The tone of our conversation was one of trying to figure out how we could, as guys, be a better support system to teenage girls. Basically, the reoccurring question was, “How can I be more like Christ?” It was one of my favorite couple of hours in my ministry career.

me and a student that I mentor

We held this little pow-wow at a local Wendy’s. The place was pretty full and “chatty” so we weren’t too concerned about keeping our conversation quiet (not that we had anything to hide). About ⅔ of the way into our time together a woman stopped by our table. She apologized and informed us that she had been eavesdropping. Now, I’m not going to lie. I had my guard down the entire conversation with my students so a small part of me panicked wondering if I had said anything offensive and was about to get in trouble. Instead, quite the opposite happened. She thanked me for what I was doing and that I was having a conversation like this with these teenage boys. She thought it was incredible and exactly what this world needed. I was caught a bit off guard so she left before I could really come up with any response. I don’t know what her faith story was. All I know is that she was listening.

I had a couple of take-aways from this experience. My first was that this incident further reinforces my theory that doing ministry outside the four walls of our bunkers (our church buildings) can be extremely effective at revealing Christ in our communities. My gut instinct, based on some of the words and phrases she used, is that she was not a church-goer. The conversation I was having with my students was clearly Christ-based and not only was she not offended by it, she was touched by it. As she was finishing her affirmation of us, she started to even become a bit emotional. Clearly our little conversation over frostys and fries moved her.

My church has a nice coffee house in it. We could, if we so desire, have our weekly Bible study there. Instead, partially because I simply need a break, we choose to go out into the community. This experienced proved to me that this decision, alone, can allow us to be more missional. Hopefully, the next time this happens I will do more than just let me mouth hang open in surprise. I would have liked to have engaged her in a more meaningful conversation than a somewhat grunted “thanks”.

My second take-away was the fact that people are always listening. This is both cool and incredibly frightening. I’m embarrassed to admit that my first instinct was fear when she came up to our table. I was worried that my words could have harmed the image of Christ. If that is a fear then let me learn my lesson that I need to head the warnings of Proverbs 18:21 -

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,and those who love it will eat its fruits.

We are always on. There is no break time from the world watching, observing, and judging us and our God based on our words and deeds. Though in reality we had done or said nothing wrong, the fact that I was worried about what I said meant that I was acting in a way that was ignorant of who might be watching and listening. I am not asserting that we need to be better actors, but instead stating that we need to always be aware of the testimony of Christ our words and actions are revealing. You never know who is eavesdropping.

Have you ever had the “eavesdropper” experience? Was it positive? Negative? How did you react?